Step Up

karen is not a giver of information.  she does not give information freely.
 
a few weeks ago, pete's mom asked when ramona started school.  we looked at each other.  dumbfounded.  how could we not know when she started school?
 
i said i would go online.  found out.  also found out about an ice cream social they were having the friday before school started.  i mentioned that to pete.  fridays are days that he has ramona.  wednesday afternoon, thursday night, friday night, saturday day.  that's the schedule.  that's what it's been ... well, since the last time she changed things a few months ago.
 
karen comes over a few weeks ago to pick ramona up.  pete confirms, "so i'll see her on wednesday."  karen responds, "no, thursday."  pete counters, "not wednesday?"  she responds, "no.  thursday afternoon.  i have friday off."
 
i'm watching this exchange like i'm sitting at a tennis match.  i can't believe this.  so he's a glorified nanny?  wtf?

karen continues, "she has a thing to go to on friday."
 
a "thing"??  i know this "thing" she speaks of.  it's a school function.  and she's saying it's a "thing" and not giving information?
 
pete says "the ice cream social?  i was planning on taking her to that."
 
and the gem... karen says "well, you can go if you want, but i wanted to go and sign up for the pta."
 
um.... you can go if you want????  isn't he the dad?  isn't that a dad thing to go to?  isn't that something that you should share with the father of your child?  "hey, teacher assignments and an ice cream social is happening on blah blah blah, and by the way, school starts blah."
 
she's cutting back on his time with ramona.  she says that ramona gets homesick.  ramona misses home when she's not there.  i think it's a load of crap.  okay, maybe it's not a load of crap.  pete had a conversation with karen about information.  karen admitted she was wrong (!!), and apologized (!!!!) for not sharing information and for treating pete like a nany.  but now, instead of having her wednesday through saturday, pete will have her ALTERNATING fridays and saturdays. 
 
kids deserve to have both of their parents in their lives.  my parents weren't divorced, so i never had to go through this.  but if i were karen, i'd work on this.  i'd organize group play dates.  i'd do what i could to fix this, to help the situation.  i'd do something so that my child would have a relationship with both of her parents.  i wouldn't encourage it by cutting down her time with him. 
 
am i biased?  yes. 
 
i created a shared calendar and email address yesterday.  i told pete about it.  i asked him if he thought karen would be interested or would she think i was encroaching on her territory.  maybe she and i should have a conversation?  i am ALL for sharing.  i would even have her over for dinner. 
 
should i have a conversation with her?  what would i say?  should i leave it alone?  i suggested that pete talk to karen, to find out what he could do to make ramona feel more at home.  there are pictures of her mom around.  she has her "fluffy" that she takes to each house.  pete said that he thought karen has said everything she has to say about the situation.
 
and of course, i think it's me.  i think it's that i've offered insurance and she doesn't like it.  i think it's that ramona tells her mom that she wants a wii at her house, too.  and i know it's dumb, but that's what i think.  of course it's about me, right?
 
this thing with the alternating weekends... it's going to bring them further apart.  and i don't understand how karen can't see that.  or maybe she can see that, and that's her point?  i don't know.