Tuesday, September 2, 2008 | Filed in:
ramona quimby, rides horses. she spent a week at horsecamp about a month ago. kid loves horses. her grandmother has a farm, i think she's the one that hosts the horse camp.
ramona was thrown from a horse. which is what happens to kids. i'm all for kids doing dangerous stuff. jumping off whatever, climbing, running, playing. all for it. break your bones, ride your bike into a curb. this is the stuff that happens to kids.
kid was thrown from a horse. bruised elbow, no big deal.
i/we find out a few days ago that ramona. isn't. insured.
what. the. fuck.
pete had no idea she wasn't insured. last he heard, ramona was insured through her stepdad. apparently, ramona lost coverage for whatever reason. and someone put her on a horse on purpose anyway. it's not like she was sent to ballerina camp or basket weaving camp. HORSE CAMP. where these kids are underfoot of monsters weighing ... i don't know, however much horses weigh.
phill asks if i can look up how much it would be to cover her under my insurance. cool. whatever. then i start freaking out. oh, the pressure, the pressure. what if something happens to my job, what if we all lose coverage, the pressure the grown up responsibility. no way can i insure her. no way. i'm not a grown up. she's not my kid. i can't do it.
but i look into it. it's not going to be that much more a month. i tell phill, he tells karen, ramona's mom.
i hear his half of the conversation. he's telling her copays, monthly payment, medication costs. then he says "i'm pretty sure she doesn't mind because she called and found out.".
whatev.
i asked him later what it was all about. he said "you don't want to know what she said." so i left it alone, because he's usually right. my curiosity got the better of me.
what did she say? what could she have said that was rude? i'm offering her kid health insurance. did she call me names?.
"she said 'i don't know if your girrrlfriend's insurance is such a great idea.'"
what the hell does that mean? what's wrong with my insurance? i'm offering your kid insurance! and it's cheaper than the $65/month you mentioned. what's wrong with my insurance? nevermind the part earlier about me freaking out about being too grown up. fuck that. she's taking my insurance and that's that.
she's going to be the one making the appointments, setting them up, holding the insurance card. i'm just a carrier. what the fuck is her problem? you're biting the gift horse that feeds you? what's your alternative? TO KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER UNINSURED WHILE SENDING HER HAPPILY ALONG TO HORSECAMP?.
i got pissed. "tell her to stop sending ramona to horse camp. get something in writing that she refused health insurance. get something in writing, get something in writing, blah blah blah. what's wrong with my insurance? she would rather pay out of pocket if something happens?"
and good lord, did i mention that RAMONA WAS THROWN FROM A HORSE JUST WEEKS AGO AND COULD HAVE BROKEN SOMETHING?
phill sat and listened to me. then he said "she doesn't want to have to put your name all over everything." and i said "tell her to get a job that has insurance and that will fix that problem." he replied "she did say that people were telling her she was being stupid." so that's good. she has until the end of the year to come to her senses.
then i thought about it. and i calmed down. i thought of her side. i imagined myself sitting in the doctor's office, looking at the responsible party's name. the group name, the name that wasn't mine. the name that belonged to the girlfriend of the father of my child. the name of a woman that i hardly knew. and that would suck.
so i'm thinking about talking to her. maybe through the bathroom door. and it would probably come out something like this:
please take my insurance. i know it's not the ideal situation and that you'd rather do it yourself, but mine is cheaper, and it'll be really easy to add her and she'll be totally insured and please take it because what if something happens to her and she needs to go to the er? wouldn't you feel bad if you knew you could have had the er visit paid for but you said no? (maybe i'd leave that feel bad part out). please take my insurance. would it help you to know that i hid in the bathroom a couple of times when you came over? neither of us wants to be in this position, but we're in it, and we'll be around for a long time. so you don't even have to talk to me or look at me or march in a parade in celebration of me, just say yes, you'll take the insurance.
and then she would make fun of me for hiding in the bathroom and point at me and laugh, but she'd probably take the insurance and isn't that the bigger thing to do?
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4 comments:
Hi there...Although I think it's WONDERUL that you are offering to cover the kid for insurance (I cover my step-kids too), CAN you cover them? You're a girlfriend, right? There's no legal relationship, right? Not sure the insurance company will allow it. I had to show the kid's birth certificates and our marriage certificate before they would do it and even then there were questions about custody etc. My hubby has it written into his divorce agreement that he will provide medical insurance, so it's easy to do. When his ex found out that they were covered under my medical insurance, she wanted reimbursement for the amount we pay. Her reasoning was that if he is not paying and I am, she should get that money too. Seriously. It makes no fucking sense. And our lawyer just laughed at her and said "I'll pretend you never said that!".
boyfriend and i are domestically partnered. we are officially unmarried. he's covered under my insurance, and ramona would be covered as child of dependent spouse. if it wasn't possible, i wouldn't have offered it. HA! hey, have my insurance. NO, i don't want it. okay, i'll take it. WOOPS, you can't have it!
oy.
Glad to know it! It would be funny however...;-)
I'm in an opposite position... my son is covered by my insurance and I get no help from dad to pay for it. Stepmom asked if she could take my son with her two kids for his first dentist appt. I already have one set up so I said no, then she sent me a letter saying that she will be going to the appointment. I'm glad she cares for my son, and she's a good mom....but he's my son and I don't think I should be forced into having my ex's mistress turned wife there. Especially as I get no help with the insurance costs.
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